Raznor's Rants

Costarring Raznor's reality-based friends!

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Political Dating Misadventures
Posted by Ross

So I’ve noticed ads for a dating site that’s specifically for liberals. I would assume, then, that there is also a dating site specifically for conservatives. It makes me wonder if the same company is running both. If it were, I could imagine mix-ups happening from time-to-time.

Our guy, the liberal (we’ll call him George), meets our eligible lady (we’ll call her Georgina), who happens to be conservative, at a Starbucks.

George: Hello there.

Georgina: Hello there, good to meet you.

George: Same here. It sure is great to meet someone who believes in the same exact political things I believe in. And you’re not bad looking to boot!

Georgina: Agreed. Do you want to get some coffee?

George: Oh yes, I’ve been looking forward to a grande triple chai mocacinno with whipped cream all day.

Georgina: You like the grande triple chai mocacinno with whipped cream?

George: I do.

Georgina: That’s my favorite drink. We have so much in common!

George: That’s why I only go out on dates with people who share the exact same political beliefs as myself. Speaking of which, did you hear the news today?

Georgina: About the president?

George: Yes, can you believe it?

Georgina: I know! Those people make me sick.

George: Me too! I’m so glad you agree with me on this.

Georgina: How could I not?

George: And can you believe what’s happening with the abortion issue?

Georgina: No, I can not. It’s the most stomach-churning, deplorable think in the whole wide world. And what about the gay marriage issue, can you believe what those people are doing?

George: It’s unbelievable what THOSE PEOPLE are doing. Have they no decency?

Georgina: Exactly. I’m so glad we agree on these things.

George: I agree. Making people wrong for their personal political beliefs helps me forget about my own crippling pain and depression!

Georgina: It’s THEIR FAULT that you’re depressed in the first place!

George: Exactly! I think I love you.

Georgina: I love you too. Let’s get married this very night so we can have sex without making the baby Jesus weep tears of pure acid!

George: Hahahahahaha! You’re funny.

Georgina: But… I wasn’t joking.


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