Raznor's Rants

Costarring Raznor's reality-based friends!

Thursday, May 12, 2005


The Current Events Man Takes On... Current Events!

Posted by Ross, the Current Events Man

I was listening to NPR yesterday. I also read the newspaper. This is why I am a genius in area of current events. Now, behold my powers!

Pity the army recruiter. He's having more and more trouble getting youngsters to enlist. Maybe this has something to do with the MASSIVE DEATH TOLL continuing to pile up in Iraq.

I was hearing Scott Peterson from the Christian Science Monitor reporting on the violence and he sounded positively shell-shocked. I am wondering if we aren't going to start hearing more and more journalists "crossing over" like Walter Cronkite did all those years ago in the aftermath of the Tet Offensive.

Clearly the Catholic Church is concerned about the carnage, taking a firm stand... against Spain's legalization of gay marriage!

That's right, the Roman Catholic Church, the same fuck heads that scourged the Spanish countryside with the great Inquisition, are now telling Spain the baby Jesus weeps tears of pure acid every time a gay or lesbian couple gets a tax break. Thank the three men Don McLean admires most we're more sensible here in God's America.

And then there's the riots in Afghanistan. The impoverished inhabitants of the War on Terror's Ground Zero are up-in-arms over reports that there's been Koran-flushing happening in Guantanamo. Not to mention the smearing of so-called menstral blood. What these foolish people do not understand is that the prisoners there are "enemy combatants," not "human beings." Duh!

I was hearing a feature about this South African radio program called "Cheaters" that's based on some American program of the same name, that I've never heard of. Anyway, basically, the program's team of investigators go out and spy on unfaithful spouses, boyfriends and fiancees and then has the cheater confronted by his, and as far as I can tell the bad guy is always a dude, significant other. Anyway, the net result has been that infidelity has gone down, which, in South Africa, with its insanely high rate of HIV and AIDS, is a good thing.

But it got me to think about other regimes, such as Iran, that repress any and all rights for women, and it made me think, what, in a male-dominated society, would we not want women weighing in on? Perhaps, I thought, it's the issue of infidelity, which seems to afflict the male gender much more severly than the female.

I had a class in college and we did a unit on literature in the Muslim world, and my teacher said that the concept isn't that women are bad, and therefore must cover themselves in shame. It's rather that women are beautiful. And men are weak.

And finally, let us ponder deeply the following musing:

Which Bolton do we hate more: John or Michael?

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