Third Reich Humor Part V - That wacky Hess!
Hess was the Gruppenfuhrer, Hitler's deputy, who in a bureaucratic organization would be Hitler's second in command. But the Nazi party didn't organize itself as a bureaucratic organization, and others could get above Hess by going directly to Hitler. Thus Himmler, Heydrich, Goebbels and Goring all in practice had more power than Hess. Hitler didn't really like Hess that much, but liked his position as a buffer zone between him and the rest of Germany in most matters.
So that's Hess, now let's talk about Britain. In Mein Kampf, Hitler described the British as closest in race to Aryans, and therefore Germany's most natural ally. (I mean Italians and Japanese? Not quite the ideal allies for white supremacists) So it baffled Hitler when Britain decided to fight them, when it was his plan that Germany would take over the continent and England would reign over the seas. He blamed these actions on the Jews' influence on Churchill's cabinet, and was hoping that Churchill would eventually come around. This is why historians believe the Battle of Dunkirk didn't turn into an utter bloodbath, and the Germans decided to turn their attention from the Battle of Britain to the Eastern front when the Royal Air Force was reduced down to five planes from the fighting.
Which brings us back to Hess. In 1941, as Germany was about to begin its attack against Russia, Hess flew a plane alone into London in order to speak with Churchill and convince him to join in Germany's fight. His plan didn't work, however, and he spent the remainder of his life in various prisons in London and Berlin.
So now, jokes about Hess:
And since this will be the last post on this till monday, one more to help you get through the weekend:
Hess was the Gruppenfuhrer, Hitler's deputy, who in a bureaucratic organization would be Hitler's second in command. But the Nazi party didn't organize itself as a bureaucratic organization, and others could get above Hess by going directly to Hitler. Thus Himmler, Heydrich, Goebbels and Goring all in practice had more power than Hess. Hitler didn't really like Hess that much, but liked his position as a buffer zone between him and the rest of Germany in most matters.
So that's Hess, now let's talk about Britain. In Mein Kampf, Hitler described the British as closest in race to Aryans, and therefore Germany's most natural ally. (I mean Italians and Japanese? Not quite the ideal allies for white supremacists) So it baffled Hitler when Britain decided to fight them, when it was his plan that Germany would take over the continent and England would reign over the seas. He blamed these actions on the Jews' influence on Churchill's cabinet, and was hoping that Churchill would eventually come around. This is why historians believe the Battle of Dunkirk didn't turn into an utter bloodbath, and the Germans decided to turn their attention from the Battle of Britain to the Eastern front when the Royal Air Force was reduced down to five planes from the fighting.
Which brings us back to Hess. In 1941, as Germany was about to begin its attack against Russia, Hess flew a plane alone into London in order to speak with Churchill and convince him to join in Germany's fight. His plan didn't work, however, and he spent the remainder of his life in various prisons in London and Berlin.
So now, jokes about Hess:
After his flight to England, Hess was introduced to Churchill, who asked, "So you're the insane man?" To which Hess replied, "Oh no, just his deputy."
After Munich, "Capital of the Movement," Nuremberg, "City of the Reich Party Rally," Graz, "City of the People's Rising," Augsburg, from where Hess took off to flee to England, became "City of the Unexpected Promotion."
Two friends meet in the concentration camp. "Why are you here?" asks the one. "On the 5 of May I said, ' Hess is crazy.' And you?" "On the 15 of the May, I said, 'Hess isn't crazy.'"
The deputy of the Führer is the only one who succeeded in invading England.
And since this will be the last post on this till monday, one more to help you get through the weekend:
Definition of the nations: one Italian: patriot; two Italians: demonstration; three Italians: defeatism. One Frenchman: esprit; two Frenchmen: love; three Frenchmen: revolution. One German: poet; two Germans: organization; three Germans: war.
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