Raznor's Rants

Costarring Raznor's reality-based friends!

Sunday, September 18, 2005


Breaking News: Rove Above the Law

Posted by Ross

Karl Rove, the Machiavailian political strategist who helped this country's most corrupt, unaccountable, vindictive and incompetent administration be "elected" to consecutive terms, who leaks the names of undercover CIA agents like it's going out of style, and whose shit, a study from leading intelligent design scientists shows, doesn't stink, even a little bit, has been handed control of relief efforts for the demolished south east in the wake of Hurricane Katrina.

How could a man who should be languishing in a Gitmo cage, writing his misguided political rhetoric on the walls with his own blood and fecal matter like some fat, ugly, uneducated Marquis de Sade, be allowed to hand out no-bid contracts to the likes of Halliburton, Bechtel and Al Qaeda?

Rove took the time to answer the question at an impromptu conference with the White House Press corps. Taking a break from raping his underage illegal immigrant Mexican housekeeper, Rove told reporters:

"It's really quite simple. I, like my fellow Republican overlords, George, Rummy, Dick and John Roberts, am your better. And therefore, I can do what I want when I want without any fear of ever having to answer for my actions."

And to prove his point, Rove proceeded to fire up a flamethrower, barbecue all reporters gathered, slather their fricasseed corpses with A1 steak sauce and noisily devour them.

Immediately afterward, Rove issued Halliburton a no-bid $50 billion contract to rebuild the White House Press corps with a more corporate-friendly agenda.

He then let out a monumental belch that smelled like greed, hubris, arrogance and orange blossoms.

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