Raznor's Rants

Costarring Raznor's reality-based friends!

Saturday, September 17, 2005

Sharon wishes evacuation of bowels would go as smoothly as Gaza

Posted by Ross

Ariel Sharon emerged from the bathroom this morning after yet another unsuccessful attempt to evacuate his bowels.

The geriatric 77 year-old Israeli Prime Minister hasn't had a decent shit in over a week now.

"I've been pounding laxatives," the Prime Minister said. "The pressure against my sphincter is unbearable. And yet, I sit down on the crapper and nothing comes."

"How ironic," Sharon mused, after spending the better part of an hour on the toilet, in which he read the latest issue of US WEEKLY cover-to-cover, "that it took a shorter time to evacuate Jewish settlements in Gaza than it's taken my bowels to evacuate."

"And speaking of shit," Sharon added, "can you believe after only two albums, Hilary Duff is putting out a greatest hits CD?"


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