Raznor's Rants

Costarring Raznor's reality-based friends!

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

President Bush declares New Orleans federal disaster area, invasion of Syria

Posted by Ross

Addressing reporters today, President Bush, whose blissful vacation was thoughtlessly interrupted by one of the most horrific natural disasters in our nation's history, declared recovery of the thriving city of New Orleans will "take years. But in the meanwhile, rest assured this administration is doing everything in its power to make things right.

"Our strategy," the President continued, "is threefold. First we rescue the survivors. Then we rebuild the infrastructure. Then we bomb those Syrian bastards back to the stone age!"

When asked what this gruesome natural disaster had to do with America's admittedly unstable relationship with Iraq's neighbor to the west, the President simply replied, "Because they hate our freedom."

In a related story, funnyman/Christian Coaltition founder Pat Robertson mused whether the relief efforts might also include an assassination of Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez.


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