Raznor's Rants

Costarring Raznor's reality-based friends!

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


Air Force 2 TP "not as nice" as Air Force 1 TP, muses Cheney

Posted by Ross

The door to the Air Force 2 lavatory swung slowly open and Vice President Dick Cheney emerged with that trademark scowl on his face as he returned to his seat beside Chief Justice-in-waiting Antonin Scalia. The two were en route to a long weekend of duck hunting/dismantling the US Constitution.

"I'm literally sick of this shit," Cheney murmered to Scalia. "I know Air Force 1 is slightly cooler than Air Force 2, but does that mean I have to wipe my ass with sandpaper?"

Scalia then reached into his tote bag stowed underneath the seat in front of him, removing a roll of toilet paper and showing it to the vice president. "That's why, when I travel with you, I always bring my own," Scalia said.

"A little late for that now," Cheney replied as he settled into his seat, his knees bumping the semi-reclined chair in front of him, rousing a member of the Secret Service from his nap.

"Another thing," Cheney said, "the leg room on this plane sucks balls."

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